CCK'S GUIDE TO SWINGING
This will be our first time at an Adult Club...
Learn the basics
The golden rule at any swingers party or club is that everyone there has the right to say NO and without question No Means No at all times. Some couples will have a 'safety word' that they will have agreed on before hand, however this is a bit 'old hat' as all swingers know the golden rule and must abide by it. Nevertheless, as new visitors, you might like the idea of a discreet word signal and of course that’s fine .
Always ask permission Clearly we stick to the ‘Golden Rule’ of ‘NO” means ‘NO’ however it makes total sense before engaging, to first of all simply ask the person or people you wish to play with if its all okay with them. Just don’t be offended any refusal or boundaries as this can make of an awkward situation.
Take a deep Breath. Relax.
Everyone you meet at the club will of course been in your position as a ‘newbie’. As with any regular gathering of people, some are more forward and open to meeting new people and others may be more reserved. Most people you find are relaxed and used to meeting others so we suggest that you don’t hesitate to tell them you are ‘Newbies’
OK You've made it this far, then what now? well just be yourself and don't try to be someone you're not, as it can confuse the situation and others will pick up on it. When you're ready and feeling comfortable you can start chatting to people or if you're slightly more reserved you can always wait for people to approach you. The most important thing is you feel comfortable and in control of the situation. We do suggest you give yourselves anonymous ‘Club Names’ and that generally not ask specifics about other people such as ‘where do you work’ etc etc better to keep it nice & general ...
Stay in your comfort zone
No one expects you to stray outside your comfort zone, any limitations you have set yourself you should stick to, for your first experience you might wish to just watch what is taking place before you, until you gain your confidence and feel relaxed enough to participate in anything yourself. No one expects you to do anything you don't feel happy doing.
You are in control of yourself at all times.
What should we expect on our first visit to CCK...
Welcome at the door
You will be greeted at the door by the club owners and here you will be charged the relevant entry fee for the event. You will be asked to hand over any electrical devices such as phones or cameras as none are allowed inside the club premises to ensure your and everyone else's privacy. You will be issued with a locker key for you to store your belongings securely during your stay at the club. The key is numbered and this is the number that you will use for your drinks tab (which you settle at the bar at the end of your night) and for storing any larger items behind the bar such as coats and jackets.
For your first visit to CCK you will be given a guided tour of the club and shown the facilities available for you to enjoy during your visit, an explanation of the club rules (covered on this site) will also be given. You will get to see the play rooms, equipment and facilities and depending upon the time you arrive other people might already be using these and so this should be considered as you could be faced with naked people already in full swing! But as you've already decided to visit an adult bar this shouldn't shock you lol.
Have a drink to relax yourself
Now is the time to relax and let your fun packed night begin. Having a drink at the bar is a nice way to relax and ease any nerves. You will see it’s a fabulous bar with a great ambiance and style also a perfect place to chat with others. Remember of course people are typically warm and friendly and are there for the same reason as you; To mix & mingle, have fun or even just to soak up the delicious erotic atmosphere!
CCK Swingers guide and information...
Is swinging right for me/us?
There are some things you will need to consider before you begin swinging. Is it something you want to experience for real or should it just remain a fantasy? Do you desire having sex with two people at once? Wish to experiment playing with the same gender? Do you want to see your partner play with someone else? Maybe you want to see each other enjoy the pleasures of playing with others?
So, you want to make your dreams a reality? That’s cool however, be certain that your relationship won't be compromised in the process. This isn’t a decision to be taken lightly and you both owe it to one another to carefully and fully discuss the possible implications of sex with other people. The decision of course must be taken by you both and with no pressure after having had time to understand all of the possible consequences. Honesty is the key here.
Now that you’ve had the cautionary advise,here are a few tips for exploring and entering the exciting world of swinging
Why do it? People begin swinging for many reasons. Understanding why you want to start is critical for its success, you may want to experience new and adventurous pleasures with your partner. Add some spice to a predictable part of your relationship. Fulfill some existing fantasies.
Whatever reason you have, one thing it won't solve is repair a failing relationship. For swinging to be successful you must have trust, communication and honesty.
How To Start Swinging
You've looked at the positives and negatives and understood the reasons for doing it, you’re now looking to start your journey. So, what do you do now?
In a world where you can find anything you desire on-line, sex and the many forms it offers are as simple nowadays as ordering take away food. Just like ordering food you must first decide what exactly it is that you desire or perhaps you're more open to having a buffet lol. Here are just a few options to gaining access to other like-minded people:
- Private clubs
- Dating sites
- Personal sections of papers
- Introduction by friends.
Each has its own merits and of course pitfalls. Some prefer one way over another, perhaps using some or even all of the above. As we are a club for adventurous couples we will concentrate on only that. There are some major pitfalls of meeting swingers through media be it digital or print these can be:
- Who am I really contacting
- Free memberships severely limits your options
- So many time-wasters and false profiles
- Security of your personal data
- No control on who views your information
- Endless emails back and forth
- Lack of any spontaneity
- Even if you're successful you will still need somewhere to play.
How to start swinging with your partner
A question on how to get your partner into swinging is a question that has been asked many times. First, you need to take your time and discuss with your partner if swinging is something that you both wish to experience. Understanding the potential pitfalls and outcomes for you both is essential and only achieved by good honest communication between you both. If you've reached the stage where you are both looking at this site similar to this one then you are already well on your way. If you are looking at the question of how do I begin a conversation with my partner? then there are many resources available via the internet that you could read first.
Understand that often the first time you raise the subject you will open a plethora of possible negative outcomes, none greater than your partner believing that for some reason you're unhappy with them or that they're not fulfilling some vital role in your relationship. It is essential that you emphasize the reason is one of adding excitement and novelty to your relationship, not that you're trying to gain excitement by replacing them. The scenario of wanting to experience them being the object of your fantasy rather than yourself is better as it shows that they are the reason you want to experiment and not wanting to replace them with someone else.
Take your time and pick the right moment. If you have problems being honest with your partner and feel that they wouldn't understand your desire to look at swinging then chances are that you will never have the type of relationship that could survive a sexual encounter involving other people, best you keep it as a fantasy. If you have no problems being honest with them then choosing the time to first raise the subject is critical. Make sure you have plenty of time and space to fully enter the first discussion, make it special, at a time when they are already thinking of sex and in an aroused state. "Morning darling fancy fucking someone new , I do" probably wouldn't get the reaction you're hoping for lol. Be prepared and think of your partners initial reaction, if it's one of disgust then sorry but you'll need to find a new hobby. If they think you're joking then play along and don't get serious about it, keep the discussion light hearted and drop it quickly, it's been raised and at a later time you can always come back to it. Plant the seed is often the short answer to this question, let the idea grow and don't be put off by having to wait, sometimes years.
What you should avoid:
- Beginning the journey without their knowledge
- Assuming they have the same desires that you have
- Getting upset/angry by a negative response to the idea
- Implying that you're bored in your relationship
- That as an individual it is something you need to experience
Even after you have raised the idea and you will have loads of fun planning the various ways you can turn it from fantasy to reality, always reinforce your feelings for your partner. Discuss different scenarios, this is how you can find out what things they might wish to experiment with. Take your time to ensure that the first experience is positive and this might take a lot of work on your part, the right place, the right time and importantly the right other person.
Decide which is the best way for you to both experiment without feeling pressured. This is where visiting CCK can be a great first step. Being with like-minded people that are open to behaving in a sexual manner in a safe and controlled environment often allows you to both understand the emotions and feelings that you will experience. You don't have to participate until you're ready. As you are already in a place where sexual activities are taking place many of the barriers are already down, suggest you both just start with having sex with each other only. Many visitors only ever have sex with their own partners and simply rely on the excitement of having sex in a safe public environment is sufficient for them. Of course you can dive in head first and experience everything the world of swinging has to offer, only you and your partner will now which is the best way forward.
Make sure that whatever way you choose to begin you ensure that it is done at a pace that is comfortable and without pressure, a negative experience will happen at some stage but being prepared as a strong couple you can quickly eliminate these to minor irritations. Keep on talking and re-enforcing your love and desire for each other.
So many questions...
Q: Do we rip off our clothes as soon as we enter the club?
A: Only if you want to.
Q: Someone asks to join in do we have to?
A: No, if you don't want them a polite no thanks is all that's needed.
Q: Can I change my mind if I begin to feel uncomfortable?
A: Yes, you control your own experiences at all times.
Q: I want to join in with someone, what do I do?
A: Simply approach them and respectfully request to join in.
Q: If I get drunk will that help?
A: No, certainly not, while a little can take the edge off your nerves at the beginning it certainly won't help you if you get drunk.
Q: Will I be guaranteed to get sex?
A: No, only if you include yourself
Q: Can I buy sex from someone there?
A: No, CCK isn't a brothel
Q: Is there a dress code?
A: Yes, always dress to impress, you'll have better results.
Q: I'm a single guy can I attend?
A: Only on a designated night or special event.
Q: Is there an age restriction?
A: Yes, but it is for minimum age to gain entry to the club.
Q: Can I take pictures?
A: No, at no times are any recording devices allowed into the club.
Q: What if I see someone I know?
A: Say hi, you're both there for the same reasons, neither of you will gain anything by it becoming known to those outside of the club. 1.8 million people live in Auckland, with 60 or so people at the club chances are extremely remote.